And no one ever mentioned it again.
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Twenty-some years later, that girl had a little boy. He rushes through his work, and he knows all the answers. But he won't tell you. He hates to color, and tracing letters bores him. He wants to talk about words and letter sounds, but don't you dare quiz him. He wants to quiz you. Ask him what letter "house" starts with. He will tell you one time. Ask him another "H" word, and, laughing maniacally, he will list every single letter in the alphabet except H. Sit him down by himself to read "Chicka Chicka 1-2-3," and he will look at the numbers and count to 50. Sit him in front of a teacher and ask him to count as high as he can, and he will stop at 12. "I don't know any more numbers," he says with a smile.
But if he thinks he hasn't pleased someone or succeeded, he crumbles.
What does the girl who didn't want to be perfect do with the boy who only wants to be perfect?
I do not have any suggestions for you but I have support for both of you.
ReplyDeleteMy story started in daycare. Dominic was once the boy who would not answer correctly. Once he knew something, he would no longer sit still and tell you the answers, he would give an incorrect one and move on. It started at age 2 with colors, numbers, letters and shapes. He read his first book at age 3 but would only read for his phonics teacher and us. The teachers at his daycare were concerned after he continued to incorrectly answer everything. We all thought he was doing it on purpose. To be funny and it may have started that way but eventually it was more than that. They knew he knew. We knew he knew. We handled it with "Dominic, I know you know the real answer. Please give me that answer instead." For the most part it helped. But it was frustrating when they tried to evaluate him bi-yearly. It lead to Children's incorrectly advising he was not inattentive. Years later, we got the correct evaluation when his grades started to drop from straight As to the D mark. He could not concentrate. He could not focus. (all starting when they were testing him at age 2 and we did not completely realize it was a concentration issue) He was diagnosed with ADHD non hyperactive with coordinating impulse disorder and high intelligence. To this day, working on things with him can be very frustrating. Medication helps him concentrate at school but by homework time there is nothing left in his system. Some days I cry. Other days I am furious. And there are days where everything is smooth!
So I am here to support you and I know a version of what you talking about. XOXOX
Hi Melinda! Just hopping around this morning and came across your blog! We live in Cleveland only a couple hours away, but spent a weekend in Pittsburgh one time just for fun. We loved your zoo and had some yummy sandwiches somewhere famous which I can NOT remember the name of right now! Anyway, I have to say also that I love the name Shepherd! I think my Drew is just a year younger than your Zoey. Anyway, just had to say hi and that I hope you stop by and follow back! I can always use advice from more experienced mommas! :)
ReplyDeleteI feel like you are describing myself & Deacon to a T. I was the bright one in school, and I read before most of my peers. Deacon is doing that now. At three, he was reading & he's often confused (but very helpful) when his classmates can't read something. But if we ask him questions? Hooooboy. It's a different ballgame.
ReplyDeletePlease keep me updated on this. I think of you & S often. <3